Being In It and Not in a Good Place

Catharsis or me bitching

I need to vent.

A few times last year, when I started this journey, I had to keep telling myself that it was the “process, not the result” that I had to look at. The beginning of the year was rough, but I got to my lowest handicap ever by the end of the season. But those few months at the start of the season were really rough on me as I was going through lessons.

I am VERY much in that space right now. My handicap has gone up two full strokes, 5 out of my last 7 scores have been over 100, when I haven’t shot this bad in like 6-8 months. I feel unable to do anything on the golf course, I am demoralized, dejected, and not having a hell of a lot of fun.

While yes, the scores haven’t been great. I know that I need to get over that and that scoring can’t be my goal while playing. It’s shot by shot. But that is where I am running into trouble because I have no idea where anything is going. Even when I had a slice, at least I had a ball where I generally knew what was going to happen. I am having trouble tracking the ball because even the left miss is in play now. It’s destroyed any bit of confidence I have had.

If I took a long layoff, I’d understand it as getting rid of the rust.

If I wasn’t practicing at all, I’d understand it as not putting in the work.

Am I playing too much and not practicing enough? How much should I continue to work on things from my lessons if I am regressing this much? Is all this a waste of time, and should I just “swing my swing” and enjoy myself? This is all creeping into my mind right now.

So, I need to step back, take a breath, and tell myself it is “the process, not the result”. Look back at last year and know improvement is coming, progress isn’t linear, and have confidence I will take an even more significant jump than last year. After a really bad round on Tuesday, I was scheduled to play on Wednesday and Thursday in the afternoon (working east coast hours on the west coast has its privileges). Instead, I canceled both rounds. On Wednesday, I went to the course, put my earbuds in, and listened to a two-and-a-half-hour podcast while I just chipped. Hitting different shots, trying out different things, and just getting a feel back. It was fun. It was practice, and it was a step forward.

I will take a few days off from playing and concentrate on practicing. I have a lesson next week, and I need to lean on what we’ve already gone over and continue to reinforce it, along with resetting my mental approach.

What do you do when things aren’t going well for you on the course?